Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
