WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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