I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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