they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize