pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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