Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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