hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
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I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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