your parents love me but you hate me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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