im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
