Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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