I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The air was thick with penises
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
