windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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