Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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