So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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