Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
