We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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