the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
