I wish I could punch you in the face.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize