Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
