operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
