I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
