he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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