I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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