last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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