What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
