My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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