she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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