They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
