Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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