You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
