No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
