Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
