Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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