Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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