I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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