im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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