I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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