just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
