dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
