My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
wow bdsm is so cute
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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