hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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