I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
