Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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