i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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