First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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