What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
