xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
