I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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