he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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