this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
