She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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