i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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