some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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