I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize