we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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