going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
